Kelly = Total Ledge-bag

Jennie (From The Blog) and her sisters kicked off What Will I Wear Today? being escorted into the tents at Bryant Park for New York Fashion Week. Not sneaking in, walking in with the permission of a one Kelly Cutrone. True story.

Having treated my chancey buddy so kindly, from the off, I’m a big Kelly fan. Plus, her scenes in The City completely lift the programme. I’ve bought into her schtick big time. Her schtick being a no-nonsense, ball-busting, straight-talking, black-clad fashion maven.

In a world where people talk total HORSE-SHIT, she’s a breath of fresh air.

She’s written a book with the greatest title in the history of publishing. “If You Want To Cry, Go Outside.” It’s what Oscar Wilde would have called one of his novels if he’d been allowed to work in fashion pr. (And I rather suspect he really would have loved the opportunity.)

This week I have been basking in episodes of Kelly’s show Kell on Earth. Bravo producers clearly spotted her potential from The City and have justifiably afforded her her own series. Watch it here (ta for the link Rory).

Here, in brief, is why it’s beyond entertaining:

  • Kelly’s not actually a bitch. At all.
  • You get to witness her moron-intolerance.
  • She’s got a Norn Iron intern and she chats away to his mother on the phone.
  • Her exchanges with her daughter, Ava.
  • The purchase of a Rampant Rabbit for her doctor’s receptionist.
  • The random asides, like when she gave a Vanity Fair writer a Swarovski crystal and he swallowed it because he “thought it was a pill.”, when she crashed her employee’s blind date and how she keeps trying to fix her gay assistant up.
  • The ‘reality’ of it all. She gets fired by clients, and the company struggles through the recession.
  • The nuggets of information about her life and her past that subtly emerge: She arrived in New York in 1987 and hit the party circuit hard. The father of her child left her when she was pregnant. She deliberately eschews the hair and make-up stuffery, going to work naked-faced and unkempt in the shallowest industry in the world.

As well as voraciously consuming the episodes, I’ve ordered her book and I should have it by Friday. I’m having a proper little Kelly-fest this week aren’t I?

She’s also been added to my dinner party list. It’s now me, Kelly, Joanna Lumley, Eddie Izzard, Coco Chanel, Stephen Fry, Beth Ditto, Jon Snow, Simon Amstell, Anne Doyle and Vladimir Putin. But Kelly would DEFINITELY have to sit beside me.

Ava has the coolest mom EVER