Right. That’s it. I’ve had it. I’m packing in this fashion malarky. First it was the musicians, then it was the models, followed by celebrities, the politicos, the flaming cool street urchins of hip cities, and now kids. KIDS. I have to compete with kids. Look at these effortlessly cool children, with their languid posing and their arrogant stares. The artful layering and the blunt fringes. The tousled locks and the leather bomber jackets. I cannot cope with this. French label (of course) Finger in the Nose (of course) creates clothing with ” a lot of authenticity, a touch of ‘Rock and Roll Attitude’, combined with a dose of functionality…unites the look of an adults garment with the need for a child’s comfort”. Vom. Why do kids need to wear adults clothing? Why can’t they stick with the aggressive colours, whimsical patterns and matchy-matchy innocence found in more traditional children’s clothing? Kid’s clothing is supposed to be about FUN, not looking more hip than an underground glitch-rock act. And this label has accessories – accessories that I would buy. They have a necklace with a gun on it – is that appropriate for a kid? No. Is it for me? Yes. They even have a punk gallery with a punk-themed clothing line. With S-Club-S$x-Pistols playing at weekends no doubt. Obviously before 8pm. Ugh this is making me feel really stressed. I’m gonna block it out and reminisce about the matching sailor dresses and straw hats and sparkly shoes that me and Sarah wore when we were kids.

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