No, it’s not some dirty blog entry, you filthy-minded smut hounds. Rather, it’s a topic that is, literally, close to every woman’s chest – boobs, and the supporting of them.
From the day we girls have our first bra fitted, we are told how important it is to wear the right size bra. And yet so few of us do. I know that I’ve been guilty of breaking this cardinal rule more than once. It’s because Life gets in the way of keeping an eye on your chest size. I mean, we’ve all heard that one should be fitted every six months for optimum bra sizing. But let’s be honest, how many of us do. The simple fact is that if you get fitted and invest in some good quality bras, they should see you right past the six month best before date. That of course is assuming you don’t lose or gain significant amounts of weight. I myself haven’t been fitted for about a year, but I did have the cop on to buy some really good bras the last time I was fitted, and they’re still doing the job admirably.

Here comes the science bit

No wait sorry, HERE comes the science bit

Wearing the right size bra can immediately make a woman look taller, slimmer and help improve posture. And in case you’ve forgotten the consequences of not wearing the right size bra, let me remind you – pinching, back fat, drooping and the dreaded double diddy. There is really nothing worse than seeing someone in a bra the wrong size – usually too small. And it’s always women who will notice.

Spanx: A gals best friend?

For all the above reasons, investing in a good bra or five is one of the best investments a girl can make. But it’s not enough to invest in a bra for everyday wear. If you partake in any sort of sporting activity at all, a decent sports bra is an absolute must have. If you’ve ever felt the pain and discomfort that goes hand in bra with a leisurely jog while wearing a non-sports bra, you know what I mean.

And seeing as we’re on the topic of undies, I might as well briefly segue into discussing the rest of the ‘smalls’.

Knickers … ah, good auld knickers – everyone has their everyday knicks, sporty knicks, pulling knicks and ‘fallen to the communist’ knicks. Then of course there are the more special unders such as thongs and g-strings (mostly interchangeable) that, despite popular opinion (among men) do not indicate slutdom, but rather a lady’s modesty, as she doesn’t want the world and their granny to see her  VPL (Visible Panty Line -one of the top CAFs [Crimes Against Fashion]).

Then there are the giant knicks, a la Bridget Jones – or ‘magic knickers’ as they are sometimes called. These genius inventions can not only tuck in your bum and tum, they also help the lining of your clothes appear smoother and aid a better fit on your frame. Common consensus holds that Spanx are the leading brand in this field. However, I myself am still perfectly happy with a pair of elegant black M&S magic knicks that I bought a few years ago.

Spanx have also brought back the humble slip. Once the sole preserve of mammies and your junior infants teacher, slips have been re-embraced by the fashion world for many of the same reasons as the ‘magic knickers’ – smoothing the line and helping clothes fit better. They also now come in a variety of colours and fabrics with Spanx offering slimming slips as well.

Big Knicks = Sexy Time. Fact

So in parting ladies, let me leave you with this thought … no matter how much you spend on your clothes, if you’re not wearing good smalls it will be clear in the bad fit of your clothes. Undies … definitely worth investing in.

Can Pennys give you this?

Or this? It'll give you a cold hard smack in the face with a dislodged underwire, that's what. Run straight for the Provacateur Hills!

And for the love of God, Allah, Ganesh and Buddha, get the right bra size. Otherwise I’m afraid you might look like a tit.

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