really, who cares? it’s all a big political pat on the back. 90% of the time winning films are bloated, overly earnest, A-list juggernauts with tokenistic themes. monsters ball left me in a coma for weeks. the only story is the clothes*. and more to the point, who looked more hideous than who. so below follows a one-line tour through oscars 2010.
oscars 2010 fashion show
zoe saldana – a big givenchy wtf?
diane crugar – glorious in chanel
anna kendrick – hard to distinguish between dress and person
carey mulligan – i thought i was edgy, but a frock covered in cutlery? too poor-boy-done-good for me.
amanda seyfried – armani prive, tea-stained first year fash student experiment
vera farminga – blooming lovely, marchesa
SJP – dazzling, although living a lie (Karl Lagerfeld couture- was told it was made especially) deja vu
nicole richie – reem achra, holy mother of witches of eastwick, total regression
maggie gyllenhal- dries van noten, paint-by-numbers dressing, only 2 hours to dry, ideal for any show-stopping event
mariah carey – whats the point
sandra bullock – suprisingly beautiful marchesa. miss congeniality obviously paid off
charlize theron – john galliano, papier mache drag queen get-up
mo’nique – more fitting on top of a wedding cake
penelope cruz – must try harder
rachel mcadams – divine
meryl streep – masterclass in sophisticated understatement
kate winslet – oh dear
cameron diaz – fell asleep mid comment
demi moore – beautiful and on-trend, must be cougar season
miley cyrus – a palatable christmas tree fairy
jennifer lopez – polysterene and proud, at least she offered up a talking point
sigourney weaver- suitably heroic, channeling aliens II
kristen stewart – made an effort

polystyrene and proud

wtf?

chanelling aliens heroism

* earlier grammatical mistake now corrected – honestly, there was a conflab in the office for about 10 minutes as to whether story is singular or plural…highly embarrassing.

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