Where once I could have gone months without applying so much as a coat of clear polish, I now have reached the stage whereby I feel naked if I leave the house without painting my talons.

Recently I feel fashion is being a bit of a yawn-fest. The catwalks are mildly exciting (not as exciting as I thought A/W ’09 was) but two things have struck me in recent weeks…

One of them is that micro-trends are like flash-in-the-pan moments in history nowadays, rather than being fads that manage to last an entire season (anyone remember jade nails being super on trend for about 47 minutes last September?). But that is an topic for another day.

Second of all… as with hair trends this season, anything goes. (Which is a bit of a cop out, no?) Where nail colour is concerned, no one can really agree on what shade is in. Supposedly matte colours have overshadowed their more sparkly counterparts. Then again, gold and silver is still very big in 2010. It all depends on who you want to listen to.

The deadly thing is though, that you don’t have to listen to anyone and go and do what ever the darn-diddly you want to!

My favourite colour of the summer last year was ‘One Perfect Coral’ by Revlon. Over the winter it evolved into a seasonal and very fun red – ‘Double Decker’ by Rimmel. Also, last spring and summer I was obsessed with Chanel’s oh-so-very rock chick navy shade of ‘Blue Satin’. When we headed into the winter months (and in keeping with matte trend), that evolved into ‘Smoke Signal’ by Boots 17. Also I think you can never go wrong with a spot of hot pink, so my choice for the last few years has been ‘Pink Punk’ by Models Own.

Now, out of all these brands, I have to say my favourite all rounder has been the Rimmel nail varnishes. The brush is fantastic so application is a doddle and the consistency of the polish has been fantastic meaning it didnt turn goopy even towards the end of the bottle. When I bought the Chanel varnish, the sales assistant told me that Chanel nail varnish will never go off so long as you keep it away from sunlight and heat. Even before I had a chance to road test its longevity, it had disappointed me on its brush inadequacy. Almost a year later, I find fault with said SA’s claim. It’s quite thick now in consistency and I find myself wondering should I be adding in a drop of nail varnish remover to try and get it more fluid again. In saying that, the shade rocks. There were many imitators, but the original Blue Satin was the ultimate almost-black-but-not-black colour.

I should also add that I have shocking nails. They are the flimsiest of anybody’s I know. They chip, they peel, they split. They do everything that would wreck someone’s head. Because they’re in such bad condition, even the most bulletproof polish on the market would chip on my nails within a few hours.

This has its advantages though. It means I can purchase the cheapest polishes on the market. Seeing as a long-lasting finish isn’t the priority (because that will never happen), it means all I have to do is base my choice on what colour I like best. (I’d never go as cheap as the Miss Sporty bottles though. They’re beyond crap. Avoid!)

So since we’re here, I may as well tell you that the nearest thing to a nail colour trend that will carry you up to the summer months is that of the matte and mute. Essie are doing a range that go from bridal pink to a mushroom brown colour. And hot on their heels is Chanel with their offering.

Whether you follow the trends or flout them with a profane sense of meh, all that’s left to ask is… how do you eat yours?

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