last night i was seduced.

i was called forth by an overpowering force, lured into that den of iniquity – pennys on o’ connel street.  my true self was taken over by an out of body experience, gripped by a controlled hysteria, meandering around the premises in a daze, randomly shoving things into my hold. have you seen the size of the shopping baskets? they implore you, beseech you to fill them to the brim.

i’ve never experienced such an adrenaline rush, it’s the closest i’ll ever be to a junkie. nothing was making sense, walls and shapes were bleeding into each other, delerium in my belly, there was a static hum reverberating around my skull, myriad thoughts were racing through my head…do i need this, do i have one of these already, is this practical, is this versatile, is this sustainable…but none of them mattered in the end.
it was shocking, intense, exhausting…immediately gratifying but ultimately sickening. like a joyride, thrilling and exhilarating, but panicky waiting for the outcome.

it was the pennys shopping experience. no other experience like it. i had planned a well overdue pennys binge on tuesday – just to stock up on some essentials…tights, cardies, winter warmers. except something got lost in the ether…the shop swallowed a whole hour of my time and supplied  me with an entire new wardrobe. i left lighter of wallet, heavier of bag and depleted in sense. so depleted in fact, that i accidentally got involved in another pennys incident the following night. i was with some friends who wanted to have a quick peruse and i grudgingly agreed to nip in. well one minute we were all innocently looking at some make-up, the next i was standing alone with a basket full of goods, looking forlornly into the middle distance, accepting my fate. it’s just so goddamn cheap. and rationally, socially i know why its cheap…but you get distracted by the sheer overwhelming immediacy and availability of everything – everything is so on trend, so brilliantly copied, so diverse and so unbelievably cheap. i think the fact that there are sequins everywhere might have something to do with the blinding ignorance you assume in there. the only way the pennys shopping experience could be any more caricatured would be to have the william tell overture blaring out of the speakers.

well on to the bounty…cardigans, shorts, boots, tops, snoods, necklaces, tights, leggings, hoodies, underwear, Secret Santa presents, hairbrushes, body lotions, handbags…everything made complete sense and no sense at all…the real crux of the experience was buying  a 5 pack of toothbrushes for 75c when i have 3 toothbrushes at home. and i am not the type of person to have spare utilities for guests…i’m the type that spawned a reason for spare utilities.

anyway, i’m well stocked and at least i have my new years resolution planned…a ban on sweet, cheap shopping.

a sample representation of purchased goods. note: items may appear more well built then they actually are…

offending article no. 1 (the dress of doom)

offending article no. 2 (the top of terror)

offending article no. 3 (the shorts of suffering)

offending article no. 4 (the boots of barbarity)

offending article no. 5 (the satanic sequins)