here is sarah demonstrating my NERD necklace with the aid of some borrowed spectacles. this image is highly significant for a number of reasons…

1. trendy glasses look cool. on EVERYONE. but what must they be so trendy? if they weren’t so trendy, i might wear a pair.

2. why would i want a pair of fake glasses? i paid nearly €3000 to have my eyes lasered. this doesn’t make sense.

3. why do people think that you can’t see them when you wear sunglasses? i walked past a couple today and was wearing my shades (because we get more sunshine in winter than in summer in ireland. FACT) and they were throwing the gogglers all over me! and in that guilty way – the way in which people look out furtively behind their shades in case others know what they’re up to … News Flash – I can see you – and your cardigan with the buttons done up the wrong way.

4. the composition of this pictures really signifies the convergence of dual modes of viewing in the postmodern age, where the voyeur is both active and passive, as seen through the eyes of the beholder. i am available for nonsensical waffling at dinner parties.