So on a whim this morning while taking a stroll through town with a friend, I decided to go get the piercing in my ear stretched. No reason why, and really hadn’t  given it that much thought before, but what the heck – sure why not? Well it was relatively painless, just a real weird sensation, kind of tingly but not unpleasant. So this blunt needle was pushed through the hole and the jewellery was shoved in, great job all done! Had a sneaky glance in the mirror while the stretcher was cleaning all up, but shock horror, instead of the nice wood flesh tunnel that I had expected, there was a massive silver stud not unlike those worn by the hooded, trackie-brigade of boys trying to look cool… apparently it will have to stay like this for the next month until it’s healed enough to stretch some more. Ah well, sure my Adidas rip off’s (oh yes we all had a pair in the nineties), and my Nike Air Max are still lurking around the wardrobe somewhere, alright lads meet ya down the ‘nal with some dutchie aaiiiitt???