People love ‘em or hate ‘em. And I think they rock.

I wanted to get one months ago. The hairdresser in ZOO said my hair type couldn’t handle it. But then my friend got one. And she has the same hair. And it looked SAVAGE on her. Then Rihanna got one. For EFF sake I could’ve had one before feckin’ Rihanna!

I always end up with meh haircuts. Honestly, I don’t know how I do it. I’m fairly adventurous when it comes to having a cut. I spent so many years with long, school-girl tresses and a mighty fringe that I decided in my mid 20s to start altering my bonce every five minutes. That and the fact that it grows so fast, I don’t mind goin for something a bit short.

So nine months later after the first hairdresser scorned my undercut advances, I decided to go on a reconnaissance mission. Different salon, different stylist. Different country, actually.

Oh I was so excited! My hair was all sectioned off and I was psyched up for the noise of a number 4 making that dzzzzzz sound. But she used a feathering scissors and a comb. Oh. Alrighty. Not as ceremonious as I thought it was gonna be. Never mind. I’m sure it’ll start taking shape soon…

And she snipped and she patted and she ruffled and she… well something that rhymes with atted… and I my heart lit up all aglow as I began to see one of my temples becoming exposed.

It looked pretty good in the mirror. She used a paddle brush to get the longer part as straight as possible and then smoothed it over to the side. Right so, that’s what I’ll do when I wash it tomorrow, I thought.

But the next morning when I washed it, you couldn’t see it anymore. It was a FAKE undercut. I sloped off to work, examining it in the window of the metro along the way. When I got to work NOBODY NOTICED it. And my mam came to visit and I was expecting her to have an absolute eppo when she saw it. AND SHE NEVER NOTICED IT.

I had inadvertently ended up with… ANOTHER MEH HAIRCUT. That’s it. I’m concentrating on colour from now on. I’m not letting another meh blade besiege my locks.