I’m just wondering what the general trend on this is? I went out Friday night to a house party. I sported a pair of dark grey woollen shorts, a see-through cream floaty top and a light grey floaty cardigan to preserve a modicum of decency. I had thick black tights on natch. Tights were in working order at 10pm. At approximately 12.30am, I noticed a small hole on the inner thigh. By 2.30am, there were two small holes on the outer thigh. By 4.30am I had a pair or matching ladders trekking down my leg. As far as I am aware, I spent much of the night sitting down and there is photographic evidence to corroborate this. What the hell happened? I think I can safely say that 92% of tights I wear rip on the first go, be it on a wild or tame night out or wild or tame day at work. This includes the really expensive Wolstan tights I accidentally bought in Brown Thomas when I – shock horror – discovered a ladder in a pair I was wearing to an interview. The bloody things cost me 30 euros and ripped the following weekend. Is there some scientific explanation for all this rippaging? I should have stated from the outset – it was not an act of fashion irony, I’m not into the laddered look.

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